ONE TO GROW ON!!!

Happy Friday Eve... It has surely been a long, tedious week. But We're still here and for that I'm thankful..
Today I had the awesome epiphany that, You can't let anyone come and smolder your fire. Put out your spark or rain on your parade. Often times in life we allow the many distractions in life to kill our spirits. Whether it be a job that does not bring you joy. A relationship that does not add to your beautiful being or a few extra pounds that you wished would melt away. As women we have been programmed to endure, proceed and nourish everything and everyone around us besides us. This morning as I crawled out of bed from a not so peaceful sleep. All of the stresses of my life seemed to be taking priority over my mind. I continued on for a while thinking, hoping, wishing that my current situation could be different. And then all of a sudden I found my peace. I began to look around and access all of the many blessings that I have. And at that point my pity party was a wrap. My glass instantly went from half empty to half full. I got my pep back in my step and thanks to a few of my good, good girlfriends and a good come to Jesus talk. :) I caught myself actually forgetting about my problem and smiling to myself.  The thing is God never promised us that we would be worry or problem free but he did promise to send us a helper. John 14:16 says "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever". That alone brings me great joy It affirms to me that I do not have to go at all of my misfortunes and sadness alone. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. That means in spite of my troubles he's preparing my future happiness. Though the days may be long and hard Stay Strong my friends.Until next time Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... # Smooches

Hi Mom's- Ever wonder how you should be issuing allowance to your little one. Check out this Allowance guide for pointers. 

WE ARE MAGIC AND WE ARE REAL !!!!

Now I will not make any falsies, No, I did not watch the entire 2016 BET Awards Show.

To be quite honest, I really didn't feel like torturing myself with listening to music that does not serenade my ears. And unfortunately with the exception of a few artists that are still on the mainstream today. Music has become, quite the unpleasant experience for me. Not because I don't love music, Because I truly do, But it saddens me how music has gone from teaching a message to the mere ramblings of 2 Chains and Future. So, No, I didn't catch it all. But, the portion that I did catch like so many of us was Jesse Williams piece on being black. I can't really call it a speech because it was so much more. It was nourishment, education and food for our souls. I absolutely loved his eloquence in expressing his heartfelt personal depiction of what it means for him to be black. What left me floored and in aw of Jesse was not that he is oh so fine. ( Cause he is definitely that). But, the fact that he used his platform to speak life into a hurting, struggling, grief stricken people. He could have taken to the stage and thanked his manager, mom, dad and wife and sat down. But, Instead this brother wanted his people to know, that he is connected and watching and pushing and hurting right along with the rest of us. He was not hesitant to acknowledge the recent police brutality cases amongst the black community. And called out Rekia Boyd, Sandra Bland, Tamir Rice Dorian Hunt and Eric Garner. Letting there families know that they had not been forgotten. He talked of structuring our communities in such away that if we are not treated as equal, we stand alone. He spoke of our need in the black community to occasionally be label whores to the already rich as opposed to making our own mark on society and labeling ourselves as free.  This piece will surely go down in history as one of the most unselfish and outstanding public gestures by an actor/artist. As I sat in my home watching Jesse speak, I watched as the crowd stood to there feet to applaud him for this stoic move. What I also thought is that there was not one of them that did it. He stood alone and for that he will forever in my eyes hold a spot in the 21st centuries list of civil rights activist. The points that he touched on, were necessary. A few of them were hard truths that America needed to hear. And he delivered it with, elegance and graciousness.

What most single moms wish men knew

TGIF!!! 

Dating as a single mom can be tedious. Being the sole provider and caregiver for your child and trying to make time to date let alone pursue any sort of lasting relationship with a man can be a recipe for disaster if not done with thought and purpose. For years after I severed ties with my sons dad, I went on a dating hiatus. Not only did I need that time to build myself back up after the break but I also needed that time to ensure that my relationship with my son was in order before venturing into anything with anyone else. I got my feet wet after our split a few times and found that when it comes to dating single mothers most men haven't a clue what they are signing up for. One guy I dated tried to bond with my son way too fast. He had a son of his own and he wanted us to be a blended family after about 6 months in. While that may work for other women, I myself am always reluctant to allow my son to build any relationships with anyone that I am seeing. Not unless of course I am absolutely certain that the relationship is going in a long-term direction. One guy I had the feeling felt like I was trying to get him to marry me and be my sons daddy. (Not Even).

So to clear up the misconceptions of what most single moms are looking for in a significant other, Yall know I decided to add my few cents if I may:

1. Fella's chill we're not charity cases that are looking for you to rescue us.

2. Our time is very valuable. So if we decide to date you. Don't waste it.

3. We are looking for someone to bring a calm to our already stressful and chaotic lives. Help us find our chill and leave your drama at the door.

4. If we were going to be with our kids dad. We would be. Stop thinking we'll ever take him back. 9 times out of 10 he's the furthest thing from our minds.

5. If you don't like kids, keep it moving. 

6. We love our kids and they come first. So if I have to choose between nursing my sick kid and going to a movie with you. Let me know how the movie was.

7. Not all of us want or need to be married.

8. It's my child and even if he's hanging from the ceiling fan upside down, while juggling eggs, Unless we have come to a mutual agreement on disciplining him. Come get me before you attempt to chastise him. 

9. And the biggest one of all, we are not looking for fathers for our kids. They've already got one.

10. I'm doing this thing all by myself and I'm good. I don't need you. But if I'm continuing with the relationship I want you. Know the difference.

MY EPIC FAIL

Now I wanna share something with my readers. When I started this blog I vowed to be transparent and give it to you all as real as I could bring it. Now there are certain moments that you'd like to keep in your personal, I messed up secret stash. But not me I'm gonna try and keep it as 100 as I possibly can. So here goes, On Saturday I wake up ready, All week I had pondered starting the infamous 10 day smoothie challenge. I was ready, what? Couldn't tell me I wasn't. I had gone to the grocery store and stocked up on all of my needed essentials to make this thing a success. This past Saturday was supposed to be my start date. I woke up, ready- Made my first smoothie and proceeded with my weekend outings. Hit up a local farmers market, picked up apples and bypassed the guy towards the back that was selling pound cakes and giving away free samples. Naw, I can do this.. After the market, My son and Mom persuaded me into stopping by a local restaurant that sells thee best wings and mambo sauce in the DMV. They got there food, I was good. I had my Yellow delicious apples. And they were delicious. But not delicious enough for me to not want what they were eating. I got halfway home and felt a tug at my soul yall. It was the Holy Spirit , and the Spirit was telling me to go back and get myself some wings. And start this thing on Monday. So like a good Christian woman I listened. Got myself a 6 piece and fries, went home and tore it up. 

Fast forward, it's Monday I'm really ready now, I mean I had a little breakdown over the weekend but, That was in the past. ( Sideeye). I get up, got ready for work. Prepared my bag to take all my healthy goodies with me. Got to work, Did absolutely fine. Breakfast Smoothie,(DONE), Lunch Smoothie, ( DONE), Dinner Smoothie (DONE). See for those of yall that don't know what struggle is. Try drinking your food for 24 hours, while having to deal with the scent of a pepperoni and sausage pizza. As I laid in bed all sorts of things started going through my mind like, counting sheep, calling somebody on the phone. Literally anything to take the thought of the pizza out of my mind. Well needless to say none of those things worked. I failed. I got up, got a slice of pizza and had me some cookies for desert. It ain't work yall. I couldn't do it..

To say the least this is definitely not the end of me trying. A few months ago I completed all 10 days and lost 8 pounds. So I know that it can be done. Yall pray for me.. #thatpizzawasgoodtoo #idontcarewhatyallthink #fluffygirlsareinstyleanyway BOOP......

This blessed my soul.. Passing it on in hopes that it blesses someone else..

That thing you've always wanted to do.. DO IT..

They'll laugh at you, think your crazy and that it'll never amount to much..

DO IT ANYWAY!!!

THE CASE OF THE SUMMER BRAIN FREEZE

As of Yesterday. Summer has officially began around my house for my rising 11th grader. ( Pass the box of tissues please). When I got home yesterday

 he had ordered Chinese food and was relaxing in his unmade bed ( At 7:00PM,Smirk,rolls eyes and sucks teeth). Although

 summer may be awesome for kids because they get to stay up late, sleep in and order Chinese food ( SIDE EYE). For parents this can be an extremely challenging time of the year. On one hand we are elated to get a break from the rat race of preparing our little men and women for school, rushing to bus stops, snatching homework out of the dogs mouth and hearing about how lunch accidentally missed there mouths and ended up on there shirts. while also being conflicted with what the heck to do with them during the summer to keep there little brains from turning into mush.. I'm not sure about you guys but my son loves his online gaming. If I would let him, his summer would be full of nothing but XBOX Live and YOUTUBE. 

 In his younger years I micromanaged his time on those devices and gave him set times to be on, off and made sure all of the games were age appropriate. He will be turning 16 in less than 60 days and in an effort to allow him to start making his own judgement calls on the lesser evils of teenage hood like when to go to bed in the summer and wiping his own hiney. Iv'e loosened my reins a bit and stopped limiting

 his gaming to 2 hours a day. The weird thing is when he was younger he would cry to stay up all night on the game. Since I've become a little more lenient. When I walk past his bedroom door at 10:00, 10:30. He's fast asleep. And that's A OK with me. Especially since he's got plenty of scholastic,fun and exciting things in store for his summer vacation.

 Some which he was ecstatic about and others that he tried to convince me would surely turn him into the worlds biggest geek. Like a mom, I signed him up for them all anyway. Because, I know in the long run he'll be happy that he took them. Us parents know all too well how

summer extra curricular activities and camps can hurt your pockets and have you missing your sew in appointment for a few weeks. So in search of new things for my son to do,

 a few years back I started researching summer enrichment programs and activities. I hit the jackpot when I found that most local recreation

 centers offer a plethora of fun and affordable stuff to do for kids of all ages. Also, I know most local libraries offer a summer reading program for students of all grade levels.

 It includes a list of books per age/ grade level to be read. And the best part is depending upon how many books off of that list your child reads. There are prizes that they can win. And not just mediocre prizes, I mean Ipads, Ipods and all sorts of cool stuff. My son has had great experiences for the last few years with activities like swimming lessons, S.A.T. Prep and this year he will be adding boxing to his repertoire. Guys, the best part about these activities are that they are very economical. Which leaves me with a little pocket change to take the brat on a much needed summer vacation.. If you are at all interested. It's definitely worth looking into.

They will hate you for interrupting there play time, But thank you for the experiences.

Until next time Be Blessed and Beautiful my loves...# Smooches

Happy Father's day dad's. Enjoy, it's your day!

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST GRIN, BARE IT AND NOT SAY NUFFIN????

It's Fridayyyyyyyyy,

Cue booty popping music ( Insert me twerking).. Sike.. Yall know good and well I can't twerk..

But so what.. ( Side eye). So all over social media I've seen these ridiculous, posts from men and women alike ranting about, Don't be posting no Happy Fathers Day Mom post and we ain't do that to the mothers on Mothers Day and blah blah blah.. See here's the thing, and I'm going to break this thing down once and for all.. And I never intend on picking it back up after this. Because for me it's a very sensitive subject for multiple reasons.

Firstly, I was raised by a single mother.. She wasn't a side chick, she wasn't some hot box ripping and running the streets. She was a wife and she loved her family. She raised 3 kids, 1 boy, 2 girls. Single handedly. The eldest being 47 years young today. To keep it completely real. My mom and Dad are still married. For years this woman, like many single mothers, wanted and longed for her family. It was truly unfortunate that the union that she and her husband created did not last. And although today my siblings and I are strong, independent and loving parents of our own children. It was a rocky road for us growing up. We were hurt and simply devastated that the man that had given us his last name through blood and DNA. Didn't share an emotional parental bond with us. It took a toll on my brother the worse. He was surrounded by thousands of women that loved,adored and nurtured him. But he still felt a void, because none of those women could teach him the most critical parts of manhood.
As you all know, I myself bare the beautiful weight of being a single mom. My sons father and I anticipated being together forever. Most young couples have a tendency to pop up pregnant and just accept the consequences. For us, it didn't happen that way. Our baby was thought out and well planned. We both embarked on the venture of parenthood with anticipation and excitement. Him probably more than me. He was ready, willing and able to be a father. And I had little hesitation that he would be able to fulfill his fatherly duties. For the first 6 years, He was awesome. And I sat back and allowed him to be the best dad that he knew how to be.
Then one day, just like my dad, and lots of other fathers all over the world. It just stopped....
The hugs, kisses, bedtime stories, financial and emotional support.. (POOF GONE)..
See, it's really easy for women who have never had the sad experience of watching there mom, struggle, scrap and scrape just to provide. And for the men making jokes and funny little comments who think it's merely another emotional trip that us women take to get attention. Trust me this isn't the sort of attention most women seek out.
Although I am a single mom. I never wanted to be. I did not ask nor want to raise my male child alone. I do not get a boost of ego at Fathers Day when people send me Happy Fathers Day text and cards. To be quite honest, it actually does the opposite for me. It makes me sad. It is a reminder of the long nights, tedious days and conversations about, sex, love and manhood. That I should never have to have with my son. Why? Because I as his mother am fully aware that I will NEVER be able to comprehend nor understand what his life will be like as a black man in this world. It is a reminder that I must push harder, be stronger and bend but never allow him to see me break. It is a reminder that I once had a dream of togetherness and family that did not transcend the bad times. It is a reminder of Failure. Failure to give my child one of the things that all children deserve. A family. So for all the ANTI  FATHERS DAY MOM bullies. SHUT UP... This thing here that I do ain't no badge of honor. It's love. It's sacrifice, It's ministry. No woman in her right mind ventures into parent hood wanting or choosing to be a single parent. Most times it's a forced hand. And we just play the cards we're dealt.
Instead of breaking down a single mom this Father's Day, how about telling her that her work is not in vain, or saluting her efforts for even trying to do a job on her own that it normally takes a village in most countries to do.. Build up, Don't tear down. And if you just don't have anything nice to say to a single mother on Fathers Day. DON'T SAY NOTHING. BUT DON'T TELL ME I CAN'T HONOR A WOMAN FOR BEING THE BEST PARENT THAT SHE CAN BE..
Until next time, Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... #Smooches

SUMMERS HOTTEST ITEM

Happy Tuesday ladies.. Hope your day was great! Summer will officially be here next week.  And some of the latest must haves are rolling off the shelves fast. Especially the new Keds by Kate Spade addition. Ladies I know you remember wearing your keds in the summer as a little girl with your cute flowered sundresses. Well, we get a do over. But this time with all the bells and whistles that go along with anything Kate Spade. This adorable shoe line comes in a variety of hotness. From, rhinestones, to glitter and spikes.The prices on these may vary form store to store. But are generally ranging from $80 to $220. You can find them at Nordstrom, Neimans or Saks.  

 

Remember the most fabulous 90's accessory, Yesssss. Chokers are back. And with a vengeance. Of course any clothing or accessory store will have these. I just ordered several, from one of my fave go to places for cheap accessories. (shhhhh) Forever 21..

God Bless America

I'm in love with FRIDAY....

Leave your representative at home

For a while I had stopped dating completely. No I hadn't necessarily given up on love, But I was just sick and tired of meeting people who pretended to be someone else in the beginning of the relationship, and then turned out to be a completely different person once things got serious. I am quite sure I am not the only person that feels this way. You meet this great person, yall are talking, texting. Maybe even having lunch a few times a week. In the early stages things seem great. They've even got you smiling to yourself thinking about the possibilities of the two of you. Then it happens, after you two have been seeing each other for a while some other person that you have never even met takes the form of your new boo and there it is. He/ She is crazy... Oh my gosh did he just yell at me? No this bamma did not just ask me for gas money? He told me he lived with an elderly lady, but forgot to mention it was his MAMA. Yup.. The honeymoon is over, and the representative is gone. If it were like buying clothes, you could literally just take it back to the store and ask for a refund.. But it doesn't quite work like that does it. Now guys, I am going to share a secret with you, I love to be in love. I was that girl that would blow every guy off that ever tried to holler at me. Then there'd be this one that would somehow tickle my fancy and I'd fall head over heals. With his representative of course, Just to learn later that he lived with his Grandma, chain smoked reefer and farted in his sleep. ( Side eye).  After my last spill at love. I decided to take a completely different approach. I would take this guy at face value, give him the benefit of the doubt. But I would also, put my emotions to the side, let his no's be no, his yes's be yes. And Listen to what he said and not change his words into what I wanted him to be saying.

So far so good... I mean all situations have their pro's and con's and his representative has definitely left the building. And I still like him... Go figure!!!

Until next time Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... # Smooches!!

If this offends someone, So what!!!!