It's Fridayyyyyyyyy,
Cue booty popping music ( Insert me twerking).. Sike.. Yall know good and well I can't twerk..
But so what.. ( Side eye). So all over social media I've seen these ridiculous, posts from men and women alike ranting about, Don't be posting no Happy Fathers Day Mom post and we ain't do that to the mothers on Mothers Day and blah blah blah.. See here's the thing, and I'm going to break this thing down once and for all.. And I never intend on picking it back up after this. Because for me it's a very sensitive subject for multiple reasons.
Firstly, I was raised by a single mother.. She wasn't a side chick, she wasn't some hot box ripping and running the streets. She was a wife and she loved her family. She raised 3 kids, 1 boy, 2 girls. Single handedly. The eldest being 47 years young today. To keep it completely real. My mom and Dad are still married. For years this woman, like many single mothers, wanted and longed for her family. It was truly unfortunate that the union that she and her husband created did not last. And although today my siblings and I are strong, independent and loving parents of our own children. It was a rocky road for us growing up. We were hurt and simply devastated that the man that had given us his last name through blood and DNA. Didn't share an emotional parental bond with us. It took a toll on my brother the worse. He was surrounded by thousands of women that loved,adored and nurtured him. But he still felt a void, because none of those women could teach him the most critical parts of manhood.
As you all know, I myself bare the beautiful weight of being a single mom. My sons father and I anticipated being together forever. Most young couples have a tendency to pop up pregnant and just accept the consequences. For us, it didn't happen that way. Our baby was thought out and well planned. We both embarked on the venture of parenthood with anticipation and excitement. Him probably more than me. He was ready, willing and able to be a father. And I had little hesitation that he would be able to fulfill his fatherly duties. For the first 6 years, He was awesome. And I sat back and allowed him to be the best dad that he knew how to be.
Then one day, just like my dad, and lots of other fathers all over the world. It just stopped....
The hugs, kisses, bedtime stories, financial and emotional support.. (POOF GONE)..
See, it's really easy for women who have never had the sad experience of watching there mom, struggle, scrap and scrape just to provide. And for the men making jokes and funny little comments who think it's merely another emotional trip that us women take to get attention. Trust me this isn't the sort of attention most women seek out.
Although I am a single mom. I never wanted to be. I did not ask nor want to raise my male child alone. I do not get a boost of ego at Fathers Day when people send me Happy Fathers Day text and cards. To be quite honest, it actually does the opposite for me. It makes me sad. It is a reminder of the long nights, tedious days and conversations about, sex, love and manhood. That I should never have to have with my son. Why? Because I as his mother am fully aware that I will NEVER be able to comprehend nor understand what his life will be like as a black man in this world. It is a reminder that I must push harder, be stronger and bend but never allow him to see me break. It is a reminder that I once had a dream of togetherness and family that did not transcend the bad times. It is a reminder of Failure. Failure to give my child one of the things that all children deserve. A family. So for all the ANTI FATHERS DAY MOM bullies. SHUT UP... This thing here that I do ain't no badge of honor. It's love. It's sacrifice, It's ministry. No woman in her right mind ventures into parent hood wanting or choosing to be a single parent. Most times it's a forced hand. And we just play the cards we're dealt.
Instead of breaking down a single mom this Father's Day, how about telling her that her work is not in vain, or saluting her efforts for even trying to do a job on her own that it normally takes a village in most countries to do.. Build up, Don't tear down. And if you just don't have anything nice to say to a single mother on Fathers Day. DON'T SAY NOTHING. BUT DON'T TELL ME I CAN'T HONOR A WOMAN FOR BEING THE BEST PARENT THAT SHE CAN BE..
Until next time, Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... #Smooches
As you all know, I myself bare the beautiful weight of being a single mom. My sons father and I anticipated being together forever. Most young couples have a tendency to pop up pregnant and just accept the consequences. For us, it didn't happen that way. Our baby was thought out and well planned. We both embarked on the venture of parenthood with anticipation and excitement. Him probably more than me. He was ready, willing and able to be a father. And I had little hesitation that he would be able to fulfill his fatherly duties. For the first 6 years, He was awesome. And I sat back and allowed him to be the best dad that he knew how to be.
Then one day, just like my dad, and lots of other fathers all over the world. It just stopped....
The hugs, kisses, bedtime stories, financial and emotional support.. (POOF GONE)..
See, it's really easy for women who have never had the sad experience of watching there mom, struggle, scrap and scrape just to provide. And for the men making jokes and funny little comments who think it's merely another emotional trip that us women take to get attention. Trust me this isn't the sort of attention most women seek out.
Although I am a single mom. I never wanted to be. I did not ask nor want to raise my male child alone. I do not get a boost of ego at Fathers Day when people send me Happy Fathers Day text and cards. To be quite honest, it actually does the opposite for me. It makes me sad. It is a reminder of the long nights, tedious days and conversations about, sex, love and manhood. That I should never have to have with my son. Why? Because I as his mother am fully aware that I will NEVER be able to comprehend nor understand what his life will be like as a black man in this world. It is a reminder that I must push harder, be stronger and bend but never allow him to see me break. It is a reminder that I once had a dream of togetherness and family that did not transcend the bad times. It is a reminder of Failure. Failure to give my child one of the things that all children deserve. A family. So for all the ANTI FATHERS DAY MOM bullies. SHUT UP... This thing here that I do ain't no badge of honor. It's love. It's sacrifice, It's ministry. No woman in her right mind ventures into parent hood wanting or choosing to be a single parent. Most times it's a forced hand. And we just play the cards we're dealt.
Instead of breaking down a single mom this Father's Day, how about telling her that her work is not in vain, or saluting her efforts for even trying to do a job on her own that it normally takes a village in most countries to do.. Build up, Don't tear down. And if you just don't have anything nice to say to a single mother on Fathers Day. DON'T SAY NOTHING. BUT DON'T TELL ME I CAN'T HONOR A WOMAN FOR BEING THE BEST PARENT THAT SHE CAN BE..
Until next time, Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... #Smooches
No comments:
Post a Comment