Ladies, You all know the guy. He's the one that you really weren't feeling in the beginning, you didn't even think he was that cute. But his persistence and Good morning beautiful texts made you blush and you gave him a shot in spite of your initial thoughts about him. He came in, swooped you off of your feet, I mean this brother had you thinking he was the second coming. Then, just like you said you wouldn't, you did anyway.. You fell for him. Now that he's got you wrapped around his suave pinky finger, he seems to be slowing things down a bit. Those good morning texts that use to come through as soon as his feet hit the floor, 7 days a week. Now come through at about 11:00am- Monday, Wednesday and Friday and are now a mere (WHAT'S UP). Instinctively being a woman when you notice the draw back you hit your prince charming up and ask what the deal is. His voice gets cold and he hesitates to respond for a second before answering with the infamous male response (WHAT YOU MEAN, I BEEN BUSY)... Wait what??
Yessss honey, you heard him right the first time. And you've just begun the relationship tug of war with a commitment phobic man..
If none of your friends will cop to it and admit that its happened to them. Let me be the first to tell you welcome to the club. Unfortunately it is not a rare occurrence in this day and time. As a matter of fact these sorts of men seem to be popping up all over the place and have a strange way of passing themselves off as emotionally stable adults.. Now, it will be up to you to decide how long you allow this type of man to hinder and obscure your vision and possibilities of love. The thing about this guy ladies is that he sees absolutely nothing wrong with his behavior and will most certainly try and convince you that it is you who has the problem.
Do not, I repeat do not fall for that bologna. It is all apart of the game to string you along long enough to either emotionally suck you dry if your weak enough to believe his lies or long enough to find the next woman that he can begin this same exact cycle all over again with.
The sad part about this guy is that deeply seeded in his heart there are surely some childhood mommy issues that keep him wrapped up in this torturous rendition of will they, won't they.
On a more serious and physiological note, lots of times as a child this man may have felt umnurtured, abandoned or uncared for by his mother. Causing him to have a hard time trusting and accepting love from any woman and seeing her worth. Sister's, it is important for us to understand that this is not our battle and that we cannot save nor rescue him from his past hurts. Often times relationships like this tend to leave the most sane women whirling around in a sea of doubt, insecurity and pity from wondering and thinking that she could, or should be doing something different to get him to respond to her in a more loving and understanding manner. Listen ladies his lack of affection or want for a commitment has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person. You could be the best of who you are and give this man all that he needs and requires, and trust me he'd still find discontentment in the relationship. Why? Because he is broken. No, not like Charles Manson or Ted Bundy. But more like a bird that has a broken wing. He knows that flying is what he should be able to do. He sees all the other birds around him spreading there wings and taking flight without issue. He still has wings, and he intensely longs to fly and soar like everyone else. After all he's a bird, it's in his nature to fly. But, that darn broken, damaged wing wont let him. Still he opens his wings wide from time to time in hopes that this may be the day that he can actually do it..But no such luck. Loving this man can be painful. He can bring you so much joy in the early stages when the pressures of a commitment aren't on the table, things are care free and you two are just going with the flow. Those early stages are definitely the times that you begin to bond with him and fall in love. Now, the issue with Mr. Commitment Phobe is letting him go and being able to keep your own sanity once he draws back from you.
Sure, if you are strong enough to fall back and be his friend. By all means, go for it. But just know that while you are planning on keeping an amicable friendship with the guy that you cared for and hoped to build something long-term with. Things will most likely go into a make up to break up phase. While he shops around trying to find his ideal prey that will be content with what he is willing to render as affection. And you are worth so much more than that. Look I'm speaking from experience. If he is not interested in addressing his emotional stability and commitment issues and working towards something that you both can feel content and happy with. Let him hit the road. Because while he's deciding if you are the one after 3 years of dating and 6 break ups. The love of your life could be passing you by.
Until next time ladies Stay Blessed and Beautiful my loves... #Smooches
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